Updated Contact Info


PAM IN BRATTLEBORO APARTMENT
PAM IN BRATTLEBORO APARTMENT – WITH REMNANT OF FULL THICKNESS BURNS STILL ON FACE… BUT HIDDEN BY HAIR.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Both my books are for sale (and please note that it always helps a writer if you purchase her books new!) at Amazon.com or B & N or for the poetry book through http://www.Cavankerrypress.org. My art work is also for sale or possibly for donation to the right cause or organization right here. I no longer need to have the payment go to a special needs trust via my brother so just contact me if you are interested in purchasing either a specific art piece or a book of my art.

I have many 5″ by 7″ soft cover books ($15 each) and a very limited number of hardback 8″ by 11″ hard bound books for sale ($45 each — I will pay S and H). Which barely just covers the cost to print them. I can also have printed on demand a n approximately 2″ by 3″ tiny book of 20 pages, essentially a sample book of my hospital art, for $7, for anyone who would like one. These tiny flip books are titled, “Refractions of An Altered State” and each one will be signed and if desired, personally inscribed by the artist.

Please contact me at pamwagg217@GMAIL.com to discuss what you would like. You can also leave a comment here and i will get back to you through the comment section or via email, if you leave an email address.

 

I would love to hear from you! 8D

37 thoughts on “Updated Contact Info”

  1. I am having someone print out your poems for me as reading on my phone is just too difficult and I want to savor them! I have severe double vision so I do not read a great deal especially not on LCD or computer screens but even paper books can go wonky on me when tired at all… Looking forward to the poems though when brighter-eyed than I am tonight. Take care, Pam

  2. Hi Kim

    I don’t have the answers to any of these questions but I do know that the media is atrociously bad at predicting violent behavior in anyone and mothers and fathers seem the best but the least believed when it comes to their asking or even begging for assistance… Lord help us, I have never married and also feel much as you do –loner though I have friends but I function often as a listener and I have s ” history of violence” as they would put it but always and only to myself or strictly in absolute self defense!!! Yet they have this outpatient commitment order on me that reduces my present freedom and actually restricts me from ever purchasing a gun (not that I have the slightest interest in doing so but the idea that they have my name on s federal list proscribing me from doing so just outrages me) — all this against me who would never dream of hurting anyone yet the killer-would-be’s go on killing by the dozens!!!! It is such s wearying life and dilemma. Thank you for writing. Pam

  3. I am something of a loner, require long periods on my own to maintain my equilibrium, live alone,have never been married, often seem to be distracted for no readily apparent reason, & have chronic depression. So why does the media regularly cite these characteristics as warning signs of a violent personality? Why isn’t watching football a danger sign? How about all these people who want to carry handguns?

  4. Hello Pam. “Divided Minds” is a courageous & well written book for which you both have my thanks. We are the same age close enough – 63 — God how did that happen? Yours has been a difficult journey & mine a dreaming one thru what has always seemed an alien world. Do you ever wake surprised to find yourself in a corporeal body? I lift up my arms to study my hands. I lift up my legs to fold them against my chest. Where was I just now? A sense of another existence fades rapidly. It is easy to be distracted by little things — by light crossing a wall, by the territorial song of a cardinal, by the feel of the earth beneath my feet. I have chronic depression so I understand very well the sense of being responsible & to blame for many reasonable & unreasonable things. Not, however, to your degree. Enough to taste the pain. A young friend of mine has schizophrenia. I tell her that I will always be her father (by mutual consent) no matter what, that I will always love her no matter what.Time will tell. I worry about her incessantly. I tell her that she can’t die, because I need someone to be nuts with me. Well — too much is written here. Again thank you for sharing your story. Today in the post I received my copy of “We Mad Climb Shaky Ladders”.

    Sincerely
    Kim

  5. Hello Pam, I wrote down your phone number. I remember you from schiz dot com. I used to participate but got kinda busy so stopped. I never realized it was all about Torrey and forced drugging anyway. I have an article up on MIA, which you can access here:http://www.madinamerica.com/2014/12/trapped/
    My blog is at juliemadblogger.wordpress.com, and my email address is julie@juliegreene.net. I wrote down your phone number and I have a good connection to the USA. We are three hours different from the East Coast here, at -2:00. julie

  6. Hi Sarah, I just wrote a post with your request in mind…the words not so much but I posted as many papier mache sculptures as I could find pics for and had the patience for ! Hope you enjoy! I mostly use just cold flour and water and white glue plus water. All in more or less equal measures but many people use very little flour..I dunno actually how others do it! Cheers. Hope it is warmer in Ireland than it is in Vermont at present, where we had 12 inches of snow overnight! Pam

    Pam

  7. Oh, and when I re-posted my origami swan earlier I realised that I’d forgotten to mention Golden Venture origami to you. The little units are really easy to make – if you can manage animals and boxes you’ll be able to manage these. Then you can get creative with putting the units together like building blocks. There are loads of tutorials on YouTube for Golden Venture models to give you an idea of how to put them together.
    Are you sure you don’t NEED NEED to be an artist? I think people are driven to create. I don’t think it’s healthy to resist. 🙂
    I like the sound of the papier mache. Do you have any pictures of things you’ve made?

  8. Thank you, Sarah, that was very complete. YES i was afraid super afraid of oil until I learned about Winsor and Newton ARISAN oils and Lukas BERLIN oils both of which are paradoxically enough WATER-based and can be easily thinned and cleaned off and up with water. I use those exclusively as they are much less toxic and hopefully also to this planet. IF I could I would use milk paints but there are simply so many advantages to using oils now in my “career” that I really need to learn to use them…(Need is a funny word…If we all developed different “needs” perhaps the planet might be in better shape than it is at present time, eh?) Of course I do not NEED NEED to use oils at all, I do not NEED NEED to be an artist. But my soul would wither and die if not! Sometimes however I do wish and think I should go back to my much more eco friendly and transient papier mache…which really did just use recycled materials…

    I will check out those links. Thank you!
    Pam

  9. Yeah, people can make the most amazing things from folded paper. 🙂 Here is a link to a blog I follow – http://joelcooper.wordpress.com/2014/11/24/folding-a-mask/ I thought it might suit you because the guy doesn’t follow instructions to make his masks. In this post he shows photos of his works-in-progress which give you an idea of how he works. It looks tricky but I think if you asked him he might have some tips about how to start.
    http://www.kevinillustrates.com/ I found this guy through blogging too – he does quite impressive art just using an iPad and his finger. I just did a quick Google and it seems like there are people doing really impressive art on iPads.
    Trackpads are a bit useless for art. I started with mouse and MS Paint, and then tried a Wacom Bamboo tablet which has a stylus (digital pen) and a drawing surface. I found the hand-eye coordination a bit tricky though so I invested in a machine that allowed me to draw directly on the screen with a stylus. That’s how I produced the “Death Cat” pictures that I think you’ve seen on my blog.
    Layers are one of the really handy features of digital art. Imagine you’re painting on those transparencies you get for overhead projectors. Layers just let you put drawings on top of each other. You can adjust the opacity of the layer (i.e. the paint/ink on the layer) so that lower layers show through. You can also adjust the settings of layers so that the colours combine in different ways but that’s complicated and I haven’t quite understood that myself yet. Layers are definitely worth playing with. 🙂
    Oils? Oils scare me too! When I paint I use acrylics because they’re water-based and easier to clean up. 🙂 Another advantage of digital painting is that you can play with oils and other paint effects without wasting canvas, etc.
    I’m losing track of what I’ve said (I can only see a few lines of my reply in this silly window) so I will sign off now and wish you luck with your creative endeavours. 😀

  10. Thank you so much Sarah. I loved your Origami. I once tried that…and got so far as to make a flower and a complicated box but I am definitely “manual-challenged” in the sense that I do not and have never been able to follow written directions…OH boy am I hopeless with a manual of any sort. I LOVE on th other hand to simply figure something reasonably user friendly out on my own. I have tried a few digital programs for art, but for the most part they have been way way too difficult for me to even begin to use. Layers for instance just defeat me. What the heck is a layer in digital art land anyway???? Anyhow, I love MANUAL stuff, in the truest sense of the word, which is why I ought to love origami, but the fact that you have to read instructions just defeated me altogether. But I just fell in love with the creations after I saw the USA PBS video on it, maybe a couple of years ago. I had NO idea that such complicated and complex and truly artistic objects could be made from what I remember being used solely to make, well, cranes and other birds etc, (from childhood forays into the craft).

    I mostly did colored pencil drawings in my apartment, though I did have the space when I turned my entire living room into my art room, for painting. But I developed a fear of painting for years, after I decided i had to teach myself to draw…and I really got into drawing. Now though I am trying to get over that fear, and trying to force myself to use oil paints, even though as usual, I have an intense fear of the medium and do not know how to manipulate a brush as well as a pencil. I do like a challenge however, and that is a great thing, as it pushes me to continue!

    Do you use a tablet or computer? I only have a laptop and find that the track pad doesn’t work well for digital art, but the iPad has let me do a little “finger drawing” …I still do not understand anything at all about the programs though, and just wing it with the basic top layer and whatever I can figure out about pencils and digital brushes that look like the real things.

    Cheers!

    Pam

  11. 😀 Sorry for tempting you Pam! Digital art is basically just art done on a computer. People who are serious about it tend to use graphics tablets and that kind of thing but you can do it just with an ordinary mouse (or trackpad). Modern computers usually come with a basic drawing package like MS Paint. There’s more sophisticated art software like Photoshop but that’s all digital art is really – art on a computer. The advantage for me is that I don’t need an art studio or some place where my works-in-progress won’t be disturbed (not easy at the moment). I’m jealous of people who have the space to do “real” painting.
    I’ve enjoyed looking at your art so far and I look forward to seeing more. I like powerful art that carries a message and yours certainly does that. I’m glad that you visited my blog so that I could “meet” you. I look forward to seeing what you get up to in the future. 🙂

  12. Hi Sarah,

    Yes, all the art, except a few “borrowed” photos, usually recognizable, is mine..I tend to forget to sign things properly but I hope it pleases or at least disturbs!!! 8)

    I know what you mean about having to narrow things down. I had that done for me rather globally years ago, perforce. But in terms of arts and craft it is harder. I too tend to want to “eat” everything in sight. And have to carefully keep myself in check!

    Digital art is beyond me I fear, I am not even sure what is meant by the term, technically speaking, which is exactly what it is! And the learning curve is just too much for me…Maybe not, but I am so late to art in general that I need NOT to take on that one, at least I think i should not, but you never know….Ha ha ha.
    8D

    BW
    Pam

  13. Hi Pam,
    Great to hear from you so quickly. I was just reading some more of your blog, finding my way around.
    No, I’m not doing any origami at the moment. I’m a bit of a dabbler. I’m interested in all forms of creativity and if I had more lifetimes I would try all the crafts and arts known to man! I’ve tried to narrow down to a few main crafts (origami, crochet, drawing) but I still flit between them as the mood takes me. I’m currently trying to get to grips with digital art. Thanks for your interest.
    Am I right in thinking that the art on WAGblog is yours?

  14. HI Sarah,

    Yes, I love Wildflowers everywhere, I wanted to comment more but didn’t want to overwhelm you! I also loved the orchids that you posted.I am not familiar with those at all. Never seen that kind around here. Lovely!

    Are you still doing origami?

    BW
    Pam

  15. I just wanted to thank you for the comments you left on my blog. I wasn’t able to reply to them there for some reason – probably because they were attached to photos rather than a post. The coltsfoot that you described is exactly like the plant in my photo so I guess it must be the same plant.
    Thanks for visiting my blog, and I hope you come back again some time. 🙂

  16. Dear Pamela
    Bless you, I am very touched by your kind comments, I tried to respond under the comments but couldn’t, I suspect WP is a little shaky today. I paint because I enjoy it so, I guess this is why I haven’t got stuck in one style along the way. Also, I am always willing to start as a beginner when learning new skills and techniques.

  17. Hello and thank you for your comment. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to work in a psychiatric unit or hospital when you yourself suffer from a serious mental illness. It must take some real heroism on your part! I myself cannot even visit another person on a psych unit, because just being there is too traumatic. That said, i cannot know the circumstances behind the use of restraints and take-downs in your hospital, but i can say that i myself was LABELLED aggressive and combative and all that, mostly in order for them to JUSTIFY the brutality with which they treated me. It was NEVER The right thing to do, and in fact as my psychiatric advance directive says on the first page, whenever they see fit to use seclusion and restnraints on me, it ALWAYS results in my regression to primitive behaviors like shit smearing and urinating on the floor, and to their having to use restraints multiple times. So what good does it do? The very fact that you used the restraints 3x in one day on that individual says the same thing, that it only made him or her worse, not better. But you knew that, i can feel that through your words… Thank you so much again for your compassion and your visiting my blog to witness. It is much appreciated.

    Pam w

  18. Dear Pamela,

    I stumbled upon your site this morning and am deeply saddened at the abuse you suffered at the hands of mental health staff. It really hits home with me because not only do I struggle with severe mental health issues (and have been hospitalized ten times so far at the age of 23), but I actually work in a psychiatric hospital as well (when I’m stable enough to do so, of course). So reading about how cruelly you were treated is just heartbreaking. My patients–even the “aggressive” ones no one seems to want to be around–are always important to me and despite being attacked on a few occasions, I’ve never harbored any hostility toward them. In two in a half years as a mental health aide, I’ve only been involved in three restraints (all with the same person and all on the same day). I felt so ill afterward because it was a horrible sight to see this individual tied down to a bed. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for her, as I’ve only been chemically restrained with injections. We do follow the laws at our hospital and restraints are a last resort only. Our manager is excellent at ensuring that we take the least restrictive approach to de escalation, so consequently, restraints are rare (maybe 6-12 a year, max). We always take care not to injure the patient. But still, it just felt so wrong when I was involved in those takedowns. Anyway, I love your work and can relate to much of it. Best wishes to you!
    R.M.

  19. Andrea, you can contact me at my yahoo address via pamwagg… Would love to see pics of your art. I was there in the 80s but only in the day hospital…Could not be IOL in-patient as I was on Medicaid as an adult so I was hospitalized at Dempsey in Farmington, where they restrained me to an iron bed — tied me to the four corners of it, arms above my head! Three days, three times! Talk about brutality. I was never on Thompson, but i have heard that it was terrible. I am glad I was never at the IOL or anywhere that used wet packs. To think that people believed or made-believe such methods were “therapeutic” and accepted that as fact! Brutality!!!! Contact me please, if you still want to. I would love to hear from you.

  20. to: amanda
    whos mom was there in 80s-or..near
    -woner if i knew her!?
    ok..
    i am a bit wild..rebellios
    artist
    free
    love -life
    care about others.,respect is most important
    -help w those in need..as well as cats..and dogz too
    love both-but cats need help..trust me..in a way–
    that
    most people fighting to end KILLLLLLINGhelp dogs WAY more
    notfair
    i hate comparison when it comes to LOVE
    it is as ..
    ok wont go there

    oh-great..summertime is now on..
    janis j
    yes!
    no-was too young..
    but-love music of all kinds
    support much inner city youth-rappers-..with new kool sty;ez
    and care about others
    speak out
    TO help
    i will be meeting some of thoes in some bands i like
    -..
    a fest -for yputh-
    reaching out
    books not guns etc
    .
    oh..who was .am..i writing to
    who cares–mean it as public

    but AMANDA

    —SHOUT OUT—

    I MAY HABE MET KNOWN UR MOM. ..NOT SURE

    ok. ffa here

  21. yo-please –
    know iam sorry for hyperness (adhd,,
    and -just amazing..all this
    -you are GREAT
    and..chances.of
    man
    -talking nutty
    just-so wild!
    oh
    yeah
    thing is:

    sorry for all that
    and many typos i am sure
    😀

    loopy the loop

  22. just wrote
    hope i can send a pic
    youlle reconize one for sure
    my art
    IOL
    man-please read…and ..if i can put a photo up–i hope i can later
    —peace man
    so-crayzeeee–what r the odds
    maybe not what i figured/ 🙂

    no cant put up
    ok.
    hope you read..

    this is too amazing
    .i must..
    i KNOW i remember u..i THINK..wrote on museum hosp page
    i wrote more good-as..staff were great
    and friends..-never made friends in the same way again..just..-another life
    -once free to go to grounds–sneak off ,…etc!
    well
    ok g/n
    andrea

  23. man–i must get in touch
    was there 4 years
    80s
    teen
    hear u re restraints cold etc
    and sitting ‘nurse’
    -4 me it was ‘wetpacks’
    i gotta show you my work
    artist/ writer
    ETCCCCCCCCCCCCC
    you
    blew me away
    finding this..
    you
    …man
    still amazed

    i had some good tho
    some staff..and FRIENDS..mid-upper units

    but -thompson TRUAMATIZED me in a HUGEEEEEE way
    wont say more now
    frazzled

    andrea

    saw little so far
    but y b sure-i will see ALL
    -AWESOME
    SO AWESOME
    -i …
    to know another-and who expresses in art/words ETC
    or work is diff-words have some sim.
    -who cares
    rught

    -irebelled –
    stayed long
    went to lowuit-brigham,
    thought i’d go awiol
    man
    see the typo
    is it ok
    iam –gotta go
    –likely others
    not
    wasnt expecting THIS

    –GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!
    t/c
    hope to hear from you

  24. Prove that Adam Lanza was mentally ill. So far we have only a few statements by his brother and acquaintances to go on that he had a personality disorder (very difficult to “treat” esp against someone’s will) and was painfully shy and “odd”. Maybe he had a touch of Asperger’s or maybe not, but nowhere have i ever read that any form of autism was associated with an increased risk for violence. So precisely what would you have had Lanza treated for, and how? Medications are notoriously ineffective in personality disorders. So, would you have forced him into a hospital – for what treatment and on what basis? Shyness and lack of eye contact are neither pathognomonic of any illness nor criminally pathological. I am sorry but until or unless real evidence appears that proves that Lanza indeed suffered from active and serious MI, there is no way that AOT or IOC would or could have stopped his rampage.

  25. You & the ACLU testified against CT bill SB452 that could have gotten the shooter the help he needed or gotten him off the street, CT is one of only ten states that do not have an assisted outpatient treatment measure that may have prevented this from happening.

  26. Hi Ms. Wagner!
    I’m going to write you a letter, so please anticipate it 🙂 But I just wanted to let you know I love this website and being able to read all your poems. You are such a wonderful writer and I enjoy your work sooo much!
    Stay strong and beautiful,
    Molly Dupin

  27. Wheres a Ninja when you need one. Clock and dagger release the hostages. So you can read them the time and spin them around like a dagger and blind fold them tied down to their apologies to the crown.

  28. Hi Pam been a while, I’ve been reading some of your new posts. And I can really relate to what you say. They have to change the mental health laws, as so many women are suffering at the hands of abuse in these god forsaken establishments they call hospitals. It’s sad to hear so many cases, finally now coming out of the wood works openly talking about closed door no cameras abuse. I’ve seen my share of wars in these places and believe me there motto cruel to be kind (I’d like to shove a fist up these guys faces and tell them to FkOf and stop abusing vunerable women and teenages.

  29. Dear Pam,
    I am a self-published author and found your painting “What’s Bugging Me?” on Flickr. It would be perfect for a cover shot for my short story “Who Listened to Dragons.” The story is about an autistic boy who practices magic. The story is set in the same reality as my fantasy The Stone Dragon.”

    The “eye” in The Stone Dragon novel is from a photographer in France who gave me permission to use her photo for the cover. Could you give me permission to use the “What’s Bugging Me?” image for the cover of my short story “Who Listened to Dragons?”

    If you grant permission, I will send you a copy of my poetry book, Bare Ruined Choirs.” Here is my blog and website URL: http://www.tomkeplerswritingblog.com/.

  30. Hi Pamela, not a problem, I took another route but I simply adore your work and hope that you have a speedy and complete recovery. I will keep in touch from time to time to see how you are doing. Bye for now.

    Michael

  31. Hi Pamela,

    I was wondering if you could provide any assistance on how ECT worked for you? Would you recommend it for treating schizo disorders? thanks for any information you might have!

    Amanda

  32. Hi Michael, Sorry I did not get back to you sooner. I sent you an email as soon as I could but it was very late as I was in hospital for 6 weeks. If you used the picture anyway, that is probably fine. Let me know. If not, I apologize but it could not be helped. Best wishes.

    PW

  33. Hi Pam (informal is best for me) hope you don’t mind. I’m simply amazed by your art work but let get right to the point. I would like to feature or use one of your drawings (African Woman) in one of my articles and on my blog about single African American Women’s lives in a small rural town.
    Simply put, I think your drawing depicts the deep inner strength that many women possess, when we put aside ethnicity and race.

    I plan to email you also. Thank you for your time and sharing your talent.
    Michael Smith

  34. Hello, I”m chairperson of a NAMI affiliate in Marquette, Michigan on
    Lake Superior. Our university, Northern Michigan U, sponsors
    a yearly community book read and we are in the process of making
    a selection for 2012. The theme of mental health is one we’d
    like to consider. Many events are built around the “read,” including
    literature class discussion (both college and high school),
    community discussions and a campus visit by the author.
    Is such a visit something you would consider doing in connection with
    one (or several) of your books of poetry? How far ahead do you book
    engagements and what is your fee?
    Looking forward to hearing from you.
    Jane Ryan, chairperson, NAMI-Alger/Marquette

  35. Hi Pamela…

    Wow, I just read your story and you are totally amazing and have information I desperately need to hear at this very moment! My mom (53 yrs old) was diagnosed as being Bipolar about 20 years ago (in and out of hospitals), and then Schizoaffective Bipolar about 7 years ago when the delusions and voices set in. She has been permanently hospitalized ever since. She also has what they call “rapid cycling” where the medications only work for a certain period of time and stop working effectively later. She has been on approximately 20 different psychotic medications and cannot find anything to stabilize her. She started losing her hair and bed-wetting due to all the medications pumping through her body and we are totally devastated.

    I read that you had ECT done and was wondering where you had it administered and how it helped you, and if you would recommend this type of therapy? Thank you SO much for any help or assistance you can provide. I know you probably get many emails so I appreciate any information you can send my way. Your story gives me and my family hope that my mom can someday leave the hospital and continue to be the loving, caring mom we all knew growing up. Even though she is in a delusional state most of the time, she still manages to pray every day for God to heal her, from her hospital room, with the ‘voices’ trying to interrupt her cries for help.

    God bless,
    Amanda

  36. Dear Ms. Wagner,

    I just want to tell you how much I love reading your poetry. I first became acquainted with your work at a writing group I attend. Our teacher had us read your poem, “How to Read a Poem: Beginner’s Manual”. This poem really spoke to me, especially the line, “the best poems mean what they say and say it.” In college, I was assigned to read so many poems that made little sense to me. I enjoyed reading them because they sounded good when read aloud, but I was rarely able to derive any meaning from them. Then, I read your poem, and it put into words what I’d been feeling for so long.

    Since then, I’ve read several more of your poems and I continue to love your work. Another one I really like is “Our Mothers’ Daughters”. This poem creates such a powerful image of the pain we cause while trying to save, especially when we live “in a world where we ourselves/ are not yet grounded.”

    As I said before, I love your work. Thank you for writing such great poetry, and I look forward to reading more of your writing.

    Sincerely,
    Brad P. Olson

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